00:03:38:Bravo! Bravo! 00:03:44:I don't understand. Is the|conductor a blithering idiot? 00:03:47:We went over the tempo six times! 00:03:49:It's adagio, adagio, adagio.|It's not racehorse tempo! 00:03:52:- Ja, ja, Herr Crawford. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.|- What? Don't be sorry! 00:03:56:Get it right. What good are apologies|when the poetry of the moment is lost? 00:04:00:And you! You're supposed to knock|when you're ready in the trunk. 00:04:02:How do I know when you're all clear? 00:04:03:I'm sorry, Mr. Crawford,|I couldn't breathe in that... 00:04:05:- Well, you're not hired to breathe!|- But it was her first time, Mr. Crawford. 00:04:08:My God, we went over this|routine all afternoon. 00:04:11:How do I know when to begin|sticking in the swords? 00:04:13:I could have stabbed you to death,|and then, I get blood on my ensemble. 00:04:17:Mr. Wei Ling Soo!|You were, as always, brilliant! 00:04:19:I've already taken off my robe. 00:04:20:- Can my wife and I take a photo of you?|- An autograph, please? 00:04:23:- Autographs are for mental defectives.|- But I want to prove I met you. 00:04:27:Well, if you don't mind,|I'd rather that proof didn't exist. 00:04:29:What if you get picked up for sodomy? 00:04:38:Yes! 00:04:40:Stanley? 00:04:42:Burkan! How are you, Howard? 00:04:44:Brilliant. You are still|the best in the world. 00:04:48:No thanks to the assorted|Neanderthals I have to deal with. 00:04:50:You haven't changed. 00:04:51:You're still a perfectionist, a snob, a genius,|with all the charm of a typhus epidemic. 00:04:56:Well, can I help it if I'm|surrounded by assassins? 00:04:59:Nonetheless, you held us spellbound. 00:05:02:And that last effect, from the|sarcophagus into the empty chair, 00:05:05:when you swivel around... 00:05:06:I mean, I do a vanish-and-reappearance|trick in my show 00:05:10:where I transport my pretty assistant 00:05:11:from one side of the stage to|the other in a steamer trunk, 00:05:14:but it is nothing|compared to what you do. 00:05:17:I invented that effect myself. 00:05:19:And if you're very good, 00:05:21:when we have more time,|I'll teach you all the moves. 00:05:22:It's actually... It's very simple.|You can do it anywhere. 00:05:25:It's a spectacular trick. 00:05:27:It's so good to see you.|How long has it been? 00:05:29:It's a year, at least.|And the tour's going well? 00:05:32:Yes, it's going quite well.|It concludes this week. 00:05:35:Munich was good. Barcelona adored me. 00:05:38:And you'll never guess who came|to see the show in Zurich. 00:05:40:- Enid Paxton.|- Enid Paxton? 00:05:43:Little thing in third form, 00:05:44:we both used her as an assistant|when we decided to become magicians. 00:05:47:You sawed her in half,|and I cut her head off. 00:05:49:Well, she was a game girl. 00:05:51:- How is she?|- She's fine. 00:05:53:You don't really notice any of the scars.|Of course, she's fatter than my elephant. 00:05:56:What? Pretty little|Enid with the curls? 00:05:59:Well, the years can be cruel, Howard. 00:06:00:"Life is nasty, brutish and short,"|as the man said. 00:06:04:Was it Hobbes? Yes, I believe it was Hobbes.|I'd have got on rather well with Hobbes. 00:06:08:Shall we go for a drink? 00:06:09:Brilliant notion, Burkan.|We can catch up. 00:06:11:Stanley, I need your help. 00:06:14:The plot thickens.|I'll buy you a scotch. 00:06:46:The Catledge family are wonderful people.|Caroline Catledge is an old friend of mine. 00:06:52:They're a wealthy Pittsburgh family.|Father made millions in coal before he died. 00:06:56:They're socialites with several houses,|one in the south of France. 00:07:00:Now, the thing is, there's a|young woman staying with them, 00:07:04:who has them believing|that she's a spirit medium. 00:07:08:Lord, not another fake psychic.|What a pestilence they are. 00:07:12:They're taken with her|predictions of the future. 00:07:15:- Telling them what they want to hear.|- Precisely. 00:07:17:And charging them for all|the good news she brings. 00:07:20:Exactly right. And, of course,|she's a pretty young thing. 00:07:23:Well, of course. A pretty face|never hurt a cheap swindler. 00:07:25:Brice Catledge, Caroline's brother,|the heir to the family fortune, 00:07:31:fancies himself in love with her. 00:07:33:I don't know who I loathe more, 00:07:36:those who use simple tricks|to prey on the gullible, 00:07:39:or the gullible, who are so stupid,|they deserve what they get. 00:07:42:Brice Catledge's sister Caroline is|married to a doctor, a psychoanalyst, 00:07:46:and he insisted on this|woman doing her s??ances, 00:07:49:- in the presence of two renowned scientists.|- Rubbish. 00:07:53:Doesn't he know that scientists|are among the easiest to fool? 00:07:56:Well, this is the thing,|I'm embarrassed to say, 00:07:58:that I watched this woman work|from every angle, time and again, 00:08:02:and I couldn't find anything amiss. 00:08:04:I mean, I watched every move,|and Lord knows, 00:08:07:I know pretty much every mind-reading|and s??ance trick there is, 00:08:10:but I couldn't find a flaw or|spot a single suspicious move, 00:08:15:and I began to doubt|my own clear thinking. 00:08:17:You know, I thought,|"Maybe, she's the real thing." 00:08:21:There is no real thing, Howard!|It's all phony! 00:08:25:From the s??ance table,|to the Vatican and beyond! 00:08:28:I can't believe you're saying this. 00:08:30:I'm very worried for the family. 00:08:31:If you could come and|observe her in action? 00:08:34:After all, you are the greatest debunker|of fake spiritualists in the world. 00:08:38:There's not a single one|who's got past you. 00:08:41:Olivia and I were all set to take a|holiday, travel through the Galapagos. 00:08:45:But you hate holidays. 00:08:46:You'll spend your whole time in|your room practicing card tricks, 00:08:49:and you'll never see the big turtles. 00:08:51:And besides, you've always|loved the south of France, 00:08:54:and you could visit|your Aunt Vanessa. 00:08:57:But if this woman knows she's being|watched by the great Wei Ling Soo, 00:09:01:she'll make some|excuse not to perform. 00:09:03:The usual headaches,|resistance in the room... 00:09:07:She'll never know|you're Wei Ling Soo. 00:09:08:No one knows who you are|under all that chinoiserie. 00:09:11:You can pose as anyone you like. 00:09:13:Well, if she's fooled you,|she must be very good. 00:09:17:But she won't fool me. 00:09:19:I can't wait to see what|gimmickry she's employing, 00:09:22:unmask it, and throw|it back in her face. 00:09:28:Postponing our holiday? 00:09:30:- I can't resist.|- You're driven, Stanley. 00:09:33:Don't get angry with me, Olivia.|It won't be for long. 00:09:36:Okay, go. 00:09:38:You've always had the|measure of me, Olivia. 00:09:40:Ever since our very first dinner, 00:09:43:when I made your ruby ring|disappear from your finger, 00:09:45:and reappear in your soft-boiled egg. 00:09:48:If you recall, I quickly|figured out how you did it. 00:09:51:Yes, you were very impressive. 00:09:52:It was simply a matter of|logic and common sense. 00:09:55:I mean, you palmed the ring and|distracted me by spilling the salt. 00:09:59:I believe it was my clear thinking|that attracted you to me. 00:10:02:Yes, your logic and|common sense equal mine, 00:10:04:but you have the added|quality of being beautiful. 00:10:07:You've said it several times, Stanley.|We're a match made in heaven. 00:10:40:What a serendipitous pleasure 00:10:42:to be surprised by my favorite|nephew and Howard Burkan! 00:10:48:Little Howard. 00:10:49:- "Burkan the Great," if you please.|- Of course. 00:10:52:Of all my nephews and nieces,|you're the only one, Stanley, 00:10:55:who isn't boring to the|point of perfection. 00:10:57:I couldn't agree more. 00:10:59:If only you had a slightly milder disposition,|you might actually have friends. 00:11:03:I am his friend.|Notice I use the singular. 00:11:06:Yes, he means he can tolerate me. 00:11:07:You may be Burkan the|Great to your public, 00:11:09:but to me, you'll always|be little Howard Burkan, 00:11:13:who took my favorite scarf,|cut it in half with a pair of scissors, 00:11:16:waved his magic wand over it,|and it didn't come back together. 00:11:21:- I was just learning the trick.|- No, she never got over that. 00:11:24:And to what do I owe|this unannounced visit? 00:11:26:I'm here to expose yet another|fraudulent spiritualist, 00:11:29:and I thought I'd warn you I'll|be dropping by for black pudding. 00:11:32:Yes, the Catledges are holding|s??ances up at their place. 00:11:36:They've apparently met some gifted medium.|It's the talk of the C??te d'Azur. 00:11:39:She's a little American called Sophie Baker,|and apparently she's very sharp, 00:11:43:but Stanley will get|the measure of her. 00:11:44:I can't wait. 00:11:59:- Welcome!|- Welcome... 00:12:00:- How lovely to see you.|- Bienvenue. 00:12:02:- George, Caroline, Stanley.|- How do you do? 00:12:05:- Hello.|- Stanley. A great pleasure. 00:12:07:- George.|- Charmed. 00:12:08:Of course, George and Caroline|are the reason I'm here. 00:12:11:They're a great deal less gullible|than Caroline's mother and brother, 00:12:14:and had hoped that I would be able|to reveal the medium as a fraud. 00:12:18:When she fooled Howard Burkan,|we knew we were in trouble. 00:12:20:But then when he said he was|best friends with Wei Ling Soo... 00:12:23:We're great admirers. Who isn't? 00:12:26:I don't know if Howard told you,|her name is Sophie Baker. 00:12:29:Have you heard of her or... 00:12:30:No, I have not, but these sleazy|fraudsters change identity every month. 00:12:34:And I omitted to mention|she's here with her mother. 00:12:37:- Now, that says a lot.|- Yeah. 00:12:39:I hope you kept your eyes on|her mother during the s??ance, 00:12...
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