Advanced Fellatio Techniques and Secrets FAQ/Information When I published Advanced Cunnilingus Techniques and Secrets, I included a comment about perhaps doing a fellatio counterpart. Well, I've gotten quite a few requests, and demands, that follow through, especially with the How to Swallow without it Tasting Bad part. So, OK, here it is... On the other hand, it was the number of unsolicited questions on the subject that caused me to write Advanced Anal Sex Techniques, for those of you who want to know about that subject. There are two ways one could become expert enough at fellatio to write this page: By being really good at it, or by having been subjected to the attentions of people who were even better at it. Consider me the latter. As I've said before, the best part of sex is giving pleasure to your partner. But #2 on my personal list, behind going down on my lover, is being gone down upon myself. And I've had a couple of partners who were mind-blowingly good at this. I made a point of learning what it is they did, and how, as well as having simply learned what felt best on me. Basic Guidelines First, everything here is a generalization. "Most guys" means most guys, not all guys. With that in mind... Most guys are very different than women, when it comes to what they enjoy. With women, starting out very slowly is more important. With guys, there is a much better chance that the guy will be impatient, and there is most definitely a lower overall standard as to what most guys will enjoy. When starting out, the best bet is to start slowly, and indirectly. Men tend to be more visual than women, stereotypically, so part of taking your time would include almost touching...kissing around the rest of his body (depending on what's accessible under the circumstances), caressing, but not necessarily actually touching his erotic zones, yet. When doing this, remember the "many guys get impatient" rule. The longer you can drag out each step (while still making progress), the better, but some guys don't want much of this at all, and if you pay attention it should become obvious. Unfortunately, another general difference is that guys are less expressive. This is a shame, because it keeps them from enjoying it as much, as well as making it harder for you to tell what works with them. I cases like that, talking about them perhaps being more expressive, especially by telling them it excites you (hopefully this is true), is the best bet...but only if your relationship (or their personality) is secure enough to allow it. The other day, on Don & Mike (radio gods), a woman caller bragged that her nickname was "eight seconds", meaning the time it took her to bring a guy to orgasm from fellatio. While a sizable portion of guys do actually like that, it is not the way to give the best orgasm. In fact, it's the worst way. Remember that some guys do prefer it, though. See, the longer a guy is "tortured" (as one of the best fellatio artists I know puts it), the stronger his orgasm will be. "Tortured" means "kept sexually excited, and stimulated, but not actually allowed to have an orgasm". DO NOT be afraid to use your hands. If he's not one of those get-it-over-quick (GIOQ) types, there are many things you simply cannot do with your mouth, but can with your hands. Specific techniques in the advanced section. Even among eroginous zones, don't stick only to the penis. Some guys have more sensitive nipples than most women, for example (I'm one of those guys, in fact). The scrotum/gonads (I mostly use technical terms, just to keep things consistent...I can write great erotic literature, but that's not what this article's about) are also essential, if he's not a GIOQ type. The cheeks of the butt, on both men and women, actually have some automatic sexual response linked to them, especially from repeated pressure. This is because our distant ancestors often had sex "doggy style", and so a patting sensation on the butt was a good standard signal for hormones to start moving. Guys have it too, for the same reason they have nipples. A good butt massage, or perhaps gently rhythmic pressure, can really get some guys going. The anus should be carefully mentioned here. I say carefully because, of course, a lot of guys feel uncomfortable with attention to it. But it is an erotic zone, especially because it includes the prostate gland. But more, again, in the advanced section. Once he can't take it any more, or you can't, the question of spitting versus swallowing comes up. Some people, in an attempt to not offend or upset, claim that it's not really a big deal. But it is, overall. Of course plenty of guys really don't care, or don't even like their lover swallowing, while even more haven't had the chance to find out the difference. But for most guys swallowing makes a (positive) difference. This isn't just because it feels better, or more intimate. It's also, perhaps even mainly, because spitting, or evading the ejaculation altogether, brings on (even if they consciously know it's not the case) a sense of rejection (conscious or subconscious). For a woman, imagine a guy starting to go down on you and then making sputtering noises and wiping your juices frantically from his tongue and lips. You might find it a bit disappointing, if not just plain hurtful, wouldn't you. If you're a guy reading this, then you don't need an example, you've probably had it done to you. But most guys are used to lovers not swallowing, so I only bring this up so we've made clear which way's more likely to work "best". Don't forget that, though guys have a different kind of insecurity than women, they do have frail egos...they just hide it more. So excited smiles/faces and noises can, with some guys, make a big difference in how much they enjoy it. Condoms This is your call. The odds of the blow-ee catching HIV/AIDS from the blow-er are probably about the same as if you were shaking hands. The odds of the person sucking/swallowing catching it are way less than the odds of transmitting HIV/AIDS by coitus, and astronimically less than catching it from anal sex, which makes up probably more instances of transmission than all other forms of transmission combined. In fact, there is little evidence at all of HIV/AIDS being transmitted to someone who was performing fellatio, aside from a few people who had a form of gum disease that resulted in a lot of open cuts in their mouth. Oh, it's worth note that you get tiny cuts in your mouth when you brush your teeth, though they heal in minutes, so you might want to avoid brushing right before fellatio. Try chewing gum instead, I guess. Heh. Advanced Techniques Swallowing (without it tasting really bad) This is possible. In fact, only a mental barrier stands between those who "can't" and those who can. But you have to know the technique. Oh, I should point out that a large minority of people enjoy the taste, either for the flavor or because bringing that kind of pleasure to their lover is so wonderful. But a larger number think it can taste pretty bad. This depends a lot on the guy himself (each guy tastes different, some very much so), and also on what they eat (rumor has it that fruit makes it taste better, and fatty foods make it taste worse, as do some spices). The trick is to not taste it at all. This sounds too simple to be true, but: When a guy starts to cum, the typical response is to try to pace it a bit... to hold it in one's mouth for a moment before swallowing. This is the only reason one tastes it. Instead, just start swallowing, immediately and hard. If you can get te tip into the back of your mouth without having a gag reflect problem (more on that later), the ejaculation will go completely down your throat without you tasting it at all. All that's left is a vague aftertaste, and even that is much weaker than if you had allowed it to stay in your mouth. This technique fast-swallowing actually feels better, to a lot of guys, than if you had paced it normally. Deep Throating (overcoming the gag reflex) A penis in the back of one's mouth sometimes makes them "gag". So does a finger, or a banana, actually. I put quotes around "gag" because it's sorta an illusion. The "trick" to not "gagging" is to not interrupt the reflex. What, technically, is happening is that your body is trying to swallow, and a finger, penis, or banana doesn't cooperate. Some people can learn to just resist/ignore the reflex, but even better is to turn it into a real swallow. I believe (don't try it at home) that's how sword swallowers do it. Certainly it's how "deep throat" technique people do it. It's really just that simple. When you would have felt like gagging, you swallow. I, personally, have confirmed this with a banana, and a finger. This isn't just for swallowing (which it helps). It can feel very, very good for fellatio overall. Texture (don't just keep repeating a single motion) But don't forget texture. OK, the largest minority of guys doesn't care at all about variety (in a single session), he just wants rhythmic pumping. But in that case most of these techniques are wasted on him, anyway. But the rest of guys, a majority, are in various categories of liking at least some change at some point during a specific fellatio session. I should bring up the texture thing at the end of every section, but to save time and space I'll just hope you rememb...
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