I always avoid eye contact when I drop off Prism’s daily grub and vitamins. You know, because he’s a meta-human that can control people’s emotions with his eyes. Wow, I just realized how crazy that sounded. My life is awesome. Well, back to Prism. Today I showed up with my new mirrored sunglasses (coated with high density reflective glass, name pending- Stunna Shades) and stared straight into his baby browns. He, of course, tried to whammy me. I mean c’mon man, with these glasses you could stare straight at a nuclear explosion and it would just look like a blooming, smoky, badass flower. The whammie must have bounced off the glasses and hit him instead. Boo. Ya. The first self-whammie, ladies and gentlemen. Or multiple self-whammies, it seems, because his mood kept changing – he went from furious to devastated – yup I gave him a hug – to what can only be described as the most annoying emotion in the world… really, really happy.
Hey, I’m a pretty cheerful guy myself, but this dude just wouldn’t stop talking about all the things that make his life sick. Including the new found solitude - it gives him time to read and think and compose paintings in his head. Talk about making the best of a situation, am I right? He’s also “enthused” about the steady supply of Big Belly burgers and the view of the particle accelerator from his cell. Can someone talk you to death? I’m serious, like, is whammying by words a thing?
My big mistake was asking Prism for input on his supervillain name. He said he wanted to be called—and I kid you not— “Rainbow Raider.” Caitlin would be so pleased that the Meta chose the same name as her. Yeah, I’m obviously not going to tell her. The I-told-you-so face will have to wait until the next time she’s right. Countdown, three seconds. Besides, Prism is much more suave than Rainbow Raider – that sounds like the name of a Glimmer Wing My Little Pony (cue the Brony jokes.)
After an hour, Prism finally came down from his trip to la la land. Before yesterday, the psycho wouldn’t even tell me what allergies he had. Now, I know every detail of his life before and post superpowers. He was a weird dude then and he’s a weird dude now, but he likes to paint. That is something not supervillainy and surprisingly sweet. I think for his next rec time I’m gonna surprise him with a set of water colors and let him go wild. Hmmm, maybe I can ask him to paint something for Shawna. What to paint for a girl who loves teleporting, punk rock, and bad boys? Got it - a teleporting, punk rock bad boy! I could model. No, something she would actually like. I’ll get my brother Dante to model. Ladies love him. Till next time – Cisco, OUT!
pati94blackangel