Violet Tendencies - Violet ... sucht Mr. Right!.txt

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Riley.

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Hedda, that outfit looks amazing.

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Well, they loved it at city hall!

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Yes, it's always impressive when
a priest wears knock off Pucci.

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What would you expect?
Vatican drag?

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No, but what'd the groom think?

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Why do you think they're
shipping her off to Vermont?

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Exactly.

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Riley!

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Hey guys, this is
my other half, Riley.

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We've read all about you
on Markus' blog.

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Oh, how's the rash?

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Yeah! Has it cleared it up yet?

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Markus claims to have
writer's block

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but all he does is
blog, blog, biog!

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I didn't know you had
writer's block!

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That's because he hasn't
blogged about it.

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I'm just a little stuck
on my new novel.

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Oh, what's it about?

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It's about a gay couple
having a biological child.

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So it's horror?

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If we had kids, could you imagine
what we would be doing right now?

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Carpooling?

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You blogged about my rash?

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Sorry, honey.

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Baby.

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Hey Zeus.

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Do you take change?

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You cheap little bitch.

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Sodomites, this is about me
for once!

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First I want to thank manhunt.net

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for sponsoring
my wedding reception.

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Welcome!

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You know, my relatives wanted me
to have a traditional ceremony.

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Hello?!

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You are my family!

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You've been with me
through it all:

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Fat, thin. A horrible addiction
to very expensive handbags.

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But now I've got Michael!

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Where's Michael?

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Where is my man?

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Give me back my man!

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Oh there you are!

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Many of you are thinking you're
not gonna see me again after today.

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That I'm gonna disappear like
all the fag hags of your youth.

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Well, you're rig ht

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Finally I found a man who loves
me and my pussy.

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I said he loves my pussy!

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And he's gonna tear it apart
behind that picket fence!

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We love you Audrey!

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Oh, I love you too

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You know I lasted as long as I
could with my boys.

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Longer than any fag hag
ever has.

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Well...

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Any except Violet.

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Toss the bouquet already!

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The bouquet is yours Violet,
if I had one.

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He's working at the
salon tonight.

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But you're still together?

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Of course.
Darian's perfect.

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I actually think, I'm falling
in love with...

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Apparently Dan's cock is so huge -

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that the only way to fit it
in your mouth -

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is to suck it while it's still soft.

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Is that Beer Can Dan?

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Yeah.

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What about Darian?

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Oh, Darian and Luke
have an understanding.

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Uh oh, cock-block.

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Deflected!

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Luke may have more experience...

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But his opponent is tenacious

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It's battle of the bottoms.

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And the biggest loser
comes out on top!

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Hey beautiful!

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Hey Zeus, you beast!
Look at ya.

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Oh, I love it when you tease me!

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So, I hear you and Luke
are joining forces.

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Yes. God I love that guy.

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He gave me his whole email list
he's getting sponsors

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Oh, your benefit is going to be
off the hook.

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New ink?

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Yeah, check it out.

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Ten years HIV positive,
still kicking.

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You don't have to brand
yourself.

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I just want everyone to know
there is life after:

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Well, I'll be with you
in sickness

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and in health, count on it.

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I love you.

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Paparazzi!

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Next Magazine

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No more pictures!

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You'll ruin their reputation.

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I implore you, no photos!

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Really, no more pictures.

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I gotta go!
See ya'!

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Alright, we better go too.

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Have a goodnight.

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Hey, you too!

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Dude!

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What's with the skirt?

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Violet?

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Hey, I'm almost done.

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I'm waiting behind the shrub.

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Ok.

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She's my roommate.

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Yeah, you know man
that's a little weird actually.

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Is she watching us?

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She's harmless.

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Fag hags, Jesus!

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Hey!

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More respect.

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She's the last one.

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<i>Welcome to Frisky Friends</i>

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where <i>singles unite!</i>

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<i>You have 3 new Frisky Friends!</i>

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<i>Salome, you sound just like
my mother.</i>

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<i>Mather and I enjoy lung
country drives...</i>

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<i>Message deleted.</i>

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<i>Next message.</i>

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<i>Hi Salome, I'm looking
for a committed,</i>

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<i>lung term relationship with...</i>

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<i>Message deleted. Next message.</i>

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<i>It's mailman.</i>

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<i>I'm dying ta get in a hut
session before we meet.</i>

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Mn Mailman.

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It's Salome.

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Got a delivery for me?

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<i>Another very big package.</i>

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<i>What are you wearing?</i>

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Just two drops of
Chanel Number 5.

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Still off today?

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You wanna chill?

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Let's go to Coney Island
and ride the Cyclone.

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Yeah, let's do that.

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So, how was Audrey's reception?

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She was so happy.

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