1 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,708 Oh, there you are. 2 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,577 Baby, I was wonderin' where you was. 3 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:46,812 Oh, what's the matter? 4 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,513 Tell pimp Billy Faunz everything. 5 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,382 Where were you? Come on. 6 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,384 You gotta tell me. Come on. 7 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,719 - Where were you? 8 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,254 You best be tellin' me, 9 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,755 because I hate wasting Courvoisier 10 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,557 almost as much as I hate when bitches 11 00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,825 ain't give me my money. 12 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,762 You usin' my money to shoot up and get high? 13 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,764 You better not, because I didn't give you permission to get high. 14 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,933 I own that ass. 15 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,801 And I hope that ass is hungry, baby, 16 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:12,504 'cause I'm gonna feed it my dick. 17 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,953 Oh, my god. 18 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,099 Okay, Ronaldo, 19 00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:48,633 just hold tight. 20 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,636 This will only take about a few more hours. 21 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,972 I cannot wait to see what my penis looks like 22 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,607 - through your eye. - Well, 23 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:56,842 every time I draw one of these, 24 00:02:56,844 --> 00:03:00,145 I see something new and beautiful. 25 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,381 It is the only thing that keeps me going. 26 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,549 That and obviously 27 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,052 the love for my child. 28 00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,054 Hold on one sec. Alister. 29 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,756 Alister, 30 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,057 can we deal with that? 31 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:15,127 I am so sorry. Daddy duty calls. 32 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:18,463 Oh, please, don't apologize. I understand. 33 00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,132 You draw when you can, 34 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:22,134 and you father when you have to. 35 00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:23,835 Thank you so much for understanding. 36 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,804 Alister is a lucky guy. 37 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,606 But if you ever feel like jumping ship 38 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,608 and going for a ride 39 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,110 on the u.S.S. Ronaldo fuck ship, 40 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,146 the ship that is my cock, 41 00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:36,148 if you ever want to get away and have sex time 42 00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,650 in a maritime location... 43 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,985 Any of this making sense? 44 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,686 You're cute, you're cute, very cute. 45 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,889 No, it doesn't make sense. 46 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,791 Never help me. 47 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:49,027 Well, I suspect you know the way out. 48 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:51,963 It is the same as where you came in from. 49 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,498 The door. Remember the door? 50 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,167 Remember when you came in? 51 00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:57,569 Oh, yes, the door. Yeah, sorry. 52 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,738 - All right, see ya. - 'Kay. 53 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,173 No, that's not how we use a door. 54 00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:02,641 - Oh, look. - That is not... 55 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,776 It's like a broken windshield wiper. 56 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,745 That is a... okay. 57 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,113 You are bad at using doors. 58 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,981 - Thank you so much. - How'd I get here again? 59 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,750 I don't know, I'm not a spy, 60 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,084 but I assume you took the train. 61 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,486 Oh, you want your own train? 62 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,154 - Okay. - Okay, bye. 63 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,789 Alister. 64 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,492 Alister. 65 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,993 Alister, are you okay? 66 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,695 Alister, Alister. 67 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,630 What... what... what... What happened? 68 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,733 - Eddie's crying. - Oh, oh, I know. 69 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:32,204 I was on my way to him and I must have dozed off. 70 00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:33,972 Yeah, because you have, like, narcolepsy, 71 00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,474 and you need to see a doctor, 72 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,108 because you're always falling asleep. 73 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,479 Oh, Adam, it's not narcolepsy. It's comfort. 74 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,482 Ever since that tragic accident severed my spine, 75 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,650 I haven't been able to use my legs. 76 00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:46,985 Yeah, I know all of this. 77 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,854 I thought I would want to die. 78 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,189 And then I realized just how comfortable it is. 79 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,892 It's like I'm floating on clouds. 80 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,962 - It's just... sometimes I fall asleep. - Yeah, I get it. 81 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,530 We all fall asleep. Everything falls asleep, okay. 82 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,265 The problem is you fall asleep 83 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,267 when you're not supposed to fall asleep, like in the daytime. 84 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,135 Alister, are you kidding me? 85 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,137 Okay, are you falling asleep like this when I'm at work 86 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,672 and you're supposed to be watching the baby? 87 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,541 No, I would never. 88 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,645 Except all the times that I do. 89 00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:22,988 Come here, you. Come here, you. 90 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,523 Come here, you. 91 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,024 Somebody woke up on the wrong side 92 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:29,127 of the playpen thingy, didn't they? 93 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,662 Come here. Come here. 94 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,665 Are you hungry? Are you hungry? 95 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,933 Okay, you want some fairy milk? 96 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,268 Yeah. 97 00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:37,969 Slow down, Mr. diarrhea. 98 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,538 You're gonna have a stummy ache 99 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,072 if you keep drinkin' like that. 100 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,108 I think he wants you to tell him his favorite story. 101 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,809 The one about how I came to Los Angeles 102 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,678 alone and pregnant? 103 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,179 - He loves it. - Right, well, 104 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,614 it all started a few years ago. 105 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,815 Hold on. 106 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,250 Tell it with the pictures. 107 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,619 Want the pictures? All right. 108 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,021 All right, you look at the pictures. 109 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,156 Okay, it all started a few years ago 110 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,125 in quatsack, New Hampshire. 111 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,627 It was just going to be a camping trip with some friends, 112 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,630 but then we were attacked by a horrible cult 113 00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:06,965 - that was sacrificing... 114 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,768 young frat men to a yeti. 115 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,003 - That was your other daddy, Eddie. - That's right. 116 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,672 You see the yeti, 117 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:16,007 he was controlled by the cult via magical spell. 118 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,876 He don't wanna do bad things. 119 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,745 He don't wanna hurt anyone, he just wanted to be loved. 120 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,180 And, uh, that's where I came in... 121 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,848 Hey, language. 122 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,151 Into the picture, Alister. 123 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,786 - All right. - I fell 124 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,055 madly in love with your father right away. 125 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:34,025 Before I met him, I was just an abusive, 126 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,360 homophobic asshole. 127 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:39,297 And your father, he, uh, 128 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,232 showed me my true self. 129 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,834 He showed me how to love. 130 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,337 This is, uh... 131 00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:47,872 This is the hardest part of the story, buddy. 132 00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:50,375 Your father was shot... 133 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,043 Shot through the heart 134 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:54,245 by a fearless yeti hunter. 135 00:06:54,247 --> 00...
ManiekGAY